


After the Lightning

by nics_life



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Bi!Cisco, Fluff, Gay!Barry, Light Smut, M/M, Pre-Slash, Slash, but if you wanna read it thats cool, but with flashvibe instead of westallen, entire story just follows the plot of the show, honestly mostly just writing this for myself
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2018-12-24 21:28:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12021363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nics_life/pseuds/nics_life
Summary: My name is Barry Allen and I'm the fastest man alive. When I was 11 I saw my mother murdered by the impossible, and my father blamed for her death. Then, a bolt of lightning made me the impossible. After the lightning, nothing would ever be the same.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. Plot comes from the CW show "The Flash."

My name is Barry Allen and I'm the fastest man alive. When I was 11 I saw my mother murdered by the impossible, and my father blamed for her death. Then, a bolt of lightning made _me_ the impossible. After the lightning, nothing would ever be the same.

 \\\

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was a face staring back at me. I didn't recognize her. I glanced around with no idea where I was.

"He's awake!" I heard someone shout across the room. 

"Where am I?" I asked. The woman standing next to me started shining a light in my eyes, mumbling something medical--my heart rate? I tried to sit up and disconnect the chords attached to me. A man walked across the room towards me, urging me to stay lying down. But I couldn't. I was freaking out. I didn't know where I was, or who these people were. Where was Iris? And Joe? 

"Relax," the man said. "Everything's okay. You're at S.T.A.R. Labs." 

"S.T.A.R. Labs?" I asked. Why would I have been at S.T.A.R. Labs? "Who are you?" I was finally starting to calm down, but I was still confused.

"I'm Cisco Ramon," the man said, "And this is Caitl--Dr. Snow."

"I need you to urinate in this," Dr. Snow told me. The man--Cisco, gave her a funny look. 

"Not this second," he said, rolling his eyes. 

Aggravated, I clamber out of the bed. "Wait a second--what is happening?" 

"You were struck by lightning, dude!" Cisco said, as if it was the coolest thing since sliced bread. I turned around to find a mirror and--wait, what?

"Lightning gave me abs?" I asked, somewhat rhetorically. Obviously lightning didn't give me abs, that's ridiculous. But what other explanation was there? I definitely did NOT have abs last time I checked. 

"Your muscles should be atrophied but instead they're in a chronic and unexplained state of cellular regeneration," Dr. Snow stated, as if I was supposed to comprehend any of what she just said. 

Cisco grabbed my shoulders, dragging me to a chair. "Have a seat," he said. "You were in a coma." 

A coma? "For how long?" I asked. 

"Nine months," I heard from across the room. I turned around to see a man in a wheelchair roll into the room. "Welcome back Mr. Allen," he said. "We have a lot to discuss." 

 \\\

Okay, so I guess if I  _had_ to go into a coma, S.T.A.R. Labs was a pretty cool place to wake up. I mean, I met Harrison Wells!  _The_ Harrison Wells! But S.T.A.R. Labs was no longer under operation. The night of the explosion caused many deaths and even more injuries. A lot happened that night, but the short version--the particle accelerator exploded, and with the storm and the energy from the explosion, a lightning bolt was created, which struck me. Dr. Wells pulled me from the hospital. The doctors there didn't know how to help me. They thought I was going into cardiac arrest but I wasn't. My heart was going so fast that the EKG couldn't pick it up. They wanted to run more tests. But I had to get out of there. I had to find Iris. 

 \\\

It was when I went to see Iris that it happened for the first time. Time slowed down. I couldn't explain it. One second I was reassuring Iris that I was okay, everything was fine. I was done flat-lining and my heart was beating. And then one of the waitresses tripped. I watched the tray fall, but it happened in slow motion. As if I could've grabbed the tray before it hit the ground. 

"My dad is going to be so happy to see you," Iris said, distracting me from my thoughts. "Let me grab my stuff, I'll be right back." I smiled at her, trying to forget about what just happened. I had been in a coma for nine months. Surely my brain just... wasn't caught up with reality yet. 

 \\\

Seeing Joe was like a breath of fresh air. Through everything the past 14 years, Joe had become like a dad to me. It felt good to know he was doing good. And then there was that Eddie guy. I wasn't sure how I felt about him. I wasn't very fond of him before the coma but, who knows, nine months can change a person.

And then it happened again. As if in slow motion, I saw a criminal reach for the gun of the cop next to him. Before I could understand what I was doing, I sped towards him, knocking his head against the table and stopping him from grabbing the gun. Except it all happened so quick that nobody noticed.

"Are you alright?" Iris asked. She hadn't even noticed that I'd moved.

The real answer was that no, I was not alright. But of course, that's not what I told Iris. "I'm fine," I lied, "I just need some fresh air. I'll call you tonight." Before she could respond I was headed towards the exit. 

I was alone outside, thank goodness. I was freaking out. I looked down and my hand was vibrating. Like, full on vibrating. That was not natural.  "What's happening to me?" I whispered.

I started running. In a half of a second I was slamming into a wall. And then a cop car. This couldn't be happening. I looked down the empty road and just... ran. 

It wasn't even possible to run as fast as I was running. Except there I was. Going at least one hundred--maybe even two hundred--miles per hour. And it felt amazing. 

 \\\

The next morning I went back to S.T.A.R. Labs. If there was anyone that could help me figure this all out, it was Cisco, Dr. Snow, and, of course, Dr. Wells. 

They wanted me to show them how fast I could run. It was clear that Dr. Snow was skeptical about the whole thing but Cisco was wired. Our entire way to the track (that's what Dr. Wells kept calling it) Cisco kept going on about superpowers and super speed and how I was the next Usain Bolt. It was kind of adorable. I hadn't noticed the day before--probably because I was so freaked--but Cisco was cute. He was like a big, excitable puppy. 

I was given a leotard-type outfit complete with a helmet and running shoes. They said the spandex would help avoid air resistance to see how fast I could really go, but that didn't make me feel any less ridiculous as I looked at myself in the mirror on the S.T.A.R. Labs truck. 

"How does it fit?" Cisco asked from outside.

I stepped out of the truck, holding my chest high in some sort of attempt to keep at least a little bit of my pride. "It's a little snug," I said.

Cisco grinned. "At least," he said, "You'll be moving so fast no one will see you." Except that didn't matter because they already saw me. And the pride I had tried to reserve was gone.  

Cisco wrapped an arm around my shoulders, leading me to where I was going to start running. "You see," he said, "you only thought the world was slowing down. But really, you were going so fast, it looked like everyone else was standing still." He went on to explain that Dr. Wells would be measuring energy output, and Dr. Snow would measure my vitals. 

"What do you do then?" I asked him.

"I make the toys, my man!" he said excitedly, with a big grin on his face. He went on to tell me about the headset he modified to keep out the noise of potential sonic booms. It proved difficult to focus though, while he had that dopey grin on his face. All I could think about was that he was really cute, and how I'd always had a thing for guys with long hair. 

I shook those thoughts out of my head as he took my helmet off to put on the headset and walked away. Dr. Snow walked towards me with a tablet in her hands. She began adjusting the belt that I'm pretty sure was there to keep track of my vitals. I looked at her with my head cocked to the side. "What?" she asked.

"Nothing," I replied, shaking my head, "I just noticed you don't smile too much." 

She sighed. "My once promising career in bioengineering is over," she explained, "my boss in a wheelchair for life. The explosion that put you in a coma killed my fiance. So this blank expression kind of feels like the way to go." 

I looked towards the ground as she walked away. I didn't know her that well, but no one deserves to live their life that. And she was so young too. She had her whole life ahead of her. In that moment I decided I was going to become her friend. I would make sure one day she could wear a smile again. 

"Mr. Allen," Dr. Wells said, distracting me from my thoughts, "while I am eager to understand your full range of abilities, I do caution restraint." I nodded, turning towards my starting point and getting into position. I glanced back at the other three, then looked at the track ahead of me. And then I ran. 

 \\\

The running was so much fun. Feeling the wind hit my face and my feet slam against the pavement made want to never stop. Breaking my wrist, though? That hurt like a bitch. We learned a valuable lesson though. My super speed seems to go beyond just running. 

"You really need to learn how to stop," Cisco joked, wearing that stupid, dopey grin again. I just smiled back at him. 

"What happened out there today?" Dr. Wells asked. I was hoping he wouldn't. The memories of my mom's death aren't really something I like to talk about. 

Regardless, I told them. I told the story that made me lose my focus and crash. The story of my mom's death. "Everyone, the cops, the shrinks... they all told me what I saw was impossible," I said, my voice breaking in the middle. "But what if the man who killed my mom was like me?" I had been searching for the impossible my entire life. And this--my speed--is proof that I wasn't crazy. I didn't make it all up. 

"Well I think I can say unequivocally that you are one of a kind," Dr. Wells said.  

 \\\

I stuck around the lab a little bit longer. Soon, Dr. Wells and Dr. Snow left to do their things and I was left alone with Cisco. He hopped up onto the bed next to me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Hey man, I'm sorry to hear about your mom," he said quietly. "I know we just met but if you ever want to talk, I'm a good listener." 

I smiled at him. "Thanks," I said. "It sucks but I'm mostly alright now. It's been 14 years. I just... I would do anything to prove my dad innocent. It's not fair. He's rotting in prison for something he didn't do." I sighed. "One day, I'm going to get him out. But until then it's good to know that I have a few friends who know I'm not completely crazy." 

Cisco grinned. "I think we all feel a little bit crazy right now," he said with a laugh. "We just watched a man run almost 350 miles per hour." I chuckled. "Dude," he said, "that's fucking insane!" And then we were both laughing. We were sitting on a hospital bed in the middle of S.T.A.R. Labs laughing our asses off. And honestly, it felt really good. 

\\\

And as if my life wasn't weird enough already, when I went to pick Iris up for lunch, there she was making out with Eddie. 

"You can't tell my dad," Iris said, "He doesn't know about me and Eddie." 

"Doesn't seem like anyone's in on the secret," I said. Listen, I had absolutely no problem with Iris dating. Maybe I used to have a little bit of a crush on her, but that was before I realized that I was gay. Like, totally, full on homosexual. It just bugged me that she didn't tell me. And come on, Eddie? She could do so much better! 

"I was gonna tell you," she said. And I believed her. But still, Eddie? "While you were in the hospital, Eddie covered my dad's shifts so we could both be with you," she continued. "I thanked him with a cup of coffee and things just kind of... happened. And it's good." 

I sighed, finally giving in. "Okay, he seems like a total schmuck," I said, grinning. Iris laughed a bit. "But!" I continued, "As long as he treats you well, I'm on board." 

She gave me her biggest smile. "Aw, thanks Bar," she said, giving me a quick side hug. 

I laughed. "If he  _does_ turn out to be a schmuck though," I said, "You tell me, and I'll kick his ass." 

Iris snorted. "Yeah, okay," she said. 

"What?" I asked, feigning offense, "I could totally kick his ass!" 

Just then, a cop car was speeding towards us, being chased by another car. Quickly, I grabbed Iris and pulled her out of the way just in time before the car hit us both. In the other car I saw a face I had thought I'd never see again. It was Mardon... But that wasn't possible. In an instant I was up and running, chasing Mardon. I rushed into the front seat of his car. Just as he reached for his gun, I reached for the wheel, flipping the car over. 

We both climbed out of the car, when something unusual happened. He raised his hands and suddenly, immense amounts of fog came out of nowhere, and he disappeared. 

\\\

I tried telling Joe that it was Mardon, and that Mardon could control the weather. In return I just got a lecture about how these things don't exist. And, as always, the conversation ended up back at my mother. If only he knew what I knew. So I went to the only place I could think of. 

By the time I got to S.T.A.R. Labs, I was beyond pissed. I stormed into the cortex. "I wasn't the only one affected by the particle accelerator explosion, was I?" I half-shouted. 

"We don't know for sure," Dr. Wells responded. 

"You said the city was safe, that there was no residual danger," I ranted. "But that's not true, so what really happened that night?"

Dr. Wells glanced back at the other two before going on to explain the details of what happened that night. "Unknown energies were released into our world," he said. "Antimatter, dark energy, X-elements." 

"Those are all theoretical," I countered. 

"And how theoretical are you?" Dr. Wells shot back.

....Point taken. 

"We don't know exactly what or... who was exposed," Dr. Wells continued. "We've been searching for other meta-humans like yourself." 

"'Meta-humans?'" I asked.

"That's what we're calling them," Dr. Snow responded. 

"I saw one today," I said, "He's a bank robber and he can control the weather." 

"This just keeps getting cooler," Cisco said excitedly. 

I gave him an angry look. "This is not cool!" I shouted. "All right? A man died!" I looked back at Wells. "Mardon must've gotten his powers the same way I did." I said, "From the storm cloud. He's still out there! We have to stop him before he hurts anyone else."

I turned around, ready to storm out. "Barry!" Wells said. "That's a job for the police."

"I work for the police," I said. 

"As a forensic assistant," he countered. 

"You're responsible for this," I said angrily. "For him." 

"What's important is you! Not me. I lost everything. I lost my company. I lost my reputation. I lost my freedom. And then you broke your arm, and it healed in three hours. Inside your body could be a map to a whole new world. Genetic therapies, vaccines, medicines, treasures buried deep within your cells and we cannot risk losing everything because you want to go out and play hero! You're not a hero. You're just a young man who was struck by lightning." 

\\\

"I don't think that bolt of lightning struck you, Barry. I think it chose you."

 Oliver's words rang through my head the entire way back to Central City. 

After searching through some unsolved cases from the time I was in my coma, I ran back to S.T.A.R. Labs to recruit the help of Cisco and Dr. Snow. I explained the sharp increase in unexplained deaths and missing people. I wanted to catch Mardon. And I was going to need both of their help. 

"If we're gonna do this," Cisco said, a grin slipping it's way onto his face, "I have something that will help."

He led me to another room--probably where he worked on all of his projects, by the look of little bits of tech lying everywhere--where he showed me... a super suit?

"Something I've been playing with," he said. It was a deep red, scarlet almost, full body suit. "Designed to replace the turnouts firefighters usually wear," Cisco explained. "I thought if S.T.A.R. Labs could do something nice for the community, maybe people wouldn't be so angry at Dr. Wells anymore."

"How is it going to help me?" I asked. 

"It's made of a reinforced tri-polymer. It's heat and abrasive resistant, so it should withhold your moving at high-velocity speeds. And the aerodynamic design should help you maintain control. Plus, it has built-in sensors so we can track your vitals and stay i contact with you from here."

"Thanks," I said, grinning at Cisco. "Now how do we find Mardon?"

\\\

I'd have to say that stopping a tornado from taking down all of Central City is probably one of the coolest things I've ever done. It was nice that Joe found out I have super speed. It would make my life a bit easier. And finally, 14 years later, Joe believed me that my dad didn't kill my mom, which was also nice. He didn't want me to tell Iris, which I sort of understood, but I honestly wasn't sure if I'd be able to hide it from her. She was my best friend, after all. 

I also finally went to see my dad, with a promise that I would get him out of Iron Heights.

I spent the rest of the day at S.T.A.R. Labs with my new friends, Caitlin and Cisco.  Cisco attached a lightning bolt to the front of my suit ("So it's not boring, Caitlin"), with that dopey grin. Looking at him, I thought about what Oliver told me. That that lightning bolt chose me. He might be right. But I didn't think it just chose me. I thought it chose all of us. Maybe so that I could be a hero. But maybe so that I could make a friend of Caitlin and Cisco, as well. Watching Cisco joke around with Caitlin with wide brown eyes, I could already tell that I was starting to get a bit of a crush on him. 

'Yeah,' I thought to myself, 'This is the start of something very special.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I'm mostly writing this for myself because I've had this idea in my head for a while and I've wanted to follow along with the show as if Barry falls in love/gets together with Cisco instead of Iris. Thus, the plot will follow very closely with that of the actual show and will diverge very little. I have no idea how long this will be and I'm not 100% sure where it's all going to go. Regardless, if you've made it this far, thanks so much for reading!!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. Plot comes from the CW show "The Flash."  
> This chapter starts prior to episode 2.

With the next few weeks, Cisco and I had become a crime-fighting duo. I went out onto the streets to save the world--as Cisco so modestly puts it--and Cisco stays at S.T.A.R. Labs doing all of the tech stuff and watching my vitals. Earlier today, I stopped a guy from robbing a convenience store. And I just keep getting faster. Yesterday, I reached 400 miles per hour!

Caitlin and Dr. Wells still didn't know about our acts of heroism, which I am most definitely not complaining about because it's given me plenty of time alone with Cisco. Like tonight, I'm going over to his place to watch movies and eat pizza.  After a long day at the lab, I lifted Cisco up, running to his apartment. 

"That was awesome!" Cisco exclaimed when I set him down. I laughed as he unlocked the door. 

"So what movie are we watching?" I asked, settling into a bar stool while Cisco unwrapped a frozen pizza. 

"I was thinking a Jurassic Park marathon," he said with that stupidly cute grin. "I haven't watched those movies in so long. It's been years. Plus, they're fucking dinosaurs, man. Who doesn't love dinosaurs?" 

I laughed, agreeing, as Cisco stuck the pizza in the oven. Together we walked into the living room. Cisco stuck the first Jurassic Park movie into the DVD player and started the movie. 

For twenty minutes or so, we sat in silence watching the movie. By the time the pizza was done, though, a conversation started and the movie was basically ignored. "I feel like," Cisco started, his mouth half-full of pizza, "we've become such good friends already, but we hardly know anything about each other."

"Yeah," I said, "I guess you're right."

"You know what this means, right?" Cisco asked. I shook my head. "Twenty questions!" 

I laughed. "All right," I said, "You start."

"Alright," he said, "favorite food."

"Pizza, obviously," I replied, "Favorite color."

"Red. Have you seen my suit?"

"We're still not calling it my suit, huh? Alright, fine. Biggest fear." 

"Clowns. They scare the shit out of me man. Okay, celebrity crush." 

"Damn that's a hard one... I'd have to say, Ryan Reynolds."

"Wait, really?" Cisco seemed dumbfounded. 

"Yeah," I laughed, "I'm gay, I thought you knew." 

"I did not know!" Cisco said as if the idea of my being gay was ludicrous. I just laughed. 

"Yeah, I've been out since, like, sophomore year of high school," I said. 

"Can I tell you something?" Cisco asked, suddenly quiet. 

"Of course," I said, smiling gently. 

"I've never told anyone this before," Cisco said nervously, "In fact, I don't think I've ever even said it out loud. My family's not the greatest when it comes to stuff like this, but... I'm bisexual." 

My heart skipped a beat. Yeah, I've been crushing on Cisco--pretty hard to be honest--but I just kind of assumed he was straight. A moment later, I finally shook off my shock. "Hey man, that's awesome," I reassured, "I'm proud of you. It takes guts to come out." 

Cisco grinned at me. "Thanks, man," he said. "Let's uh.... let's watch the movie." 

We spent the rest of the night watching the movies, which were good, but I would've rather been talking to Cisco. 

\\\

The next day, Caitlin finally figured out what we were up to. I went to put out a fire (which I may or may not have ran right past) when it happened. 

It was when I told Cisco the good news that I got everyone out safely that I heard Caitlin. 

"I got everyone out," I said, "What else you got for me Cisco?" 

"Barry, it's Caitlin."

Shit.

"Hey Caitlin," I said, trying to sound innocent. "How's your day?"

"Get back to S.T.A.R. Labs. Now." She said sternly. 

 Caitlin and I were getting to a point where we were becoming friends--or at least, good acquaintances--but she wasn't exactly what you'd call friendly. I thought it best, though, to just give her time. Back at S.T.A.R. Labs, I got a lecture from Caitlin and a "I caution restraint" from Wells (words which were starting to become irritating). "Don't expect me to patch you up every time you break something," Caitlin said angrily. I spared a quick thought to the idea that she didn't need to patch me up because I heal so fast. 

"Hey," Cisco said, hand resting on my shoulder, pulling me from my thoughts, "anything happen out there today? The sensors in the suit were kicking back some weird telemetry, like your vitals spiked for a few seconds." 

The only spike in my vitals I knew up was the speeding up of my heart when Cisco touched me, but of course, I wouldn't admit that out loud. "Never felt better," I said with a nervous laugh. 

\\\

It was later in my lab the first time it happened. It was...a dizzy spell, would be the best description. It only lasted a few seconds, but the last time something like that had happened was when I had the flu three years ago. Clearly, I didn't have the flu again, my immune system was too good. 

I brushed it off, and got up to check the case file I was working on when Iris walked in. "This is all of your fault," she said. I looked over at her. "I could have taken European Folklore to cover my sociology requirement, but no. You said, 'take journalism, Iris. Reporters have all the fun.' Guess what, Barry? Reporters have none of the fun. Journalism is boring. I'm bored." I just kept looking at her. Was there a reason she came now? Did I forget about plans we had? Why was she dressed up so nice? "What?" she asked, looking at me weird. "Why are you staring at me like that?" 

"You look nice," I said simply, trying to avoid the question 'did I forget we had plans?'

"Thanks," she said, confused, "Why don't you look nice? This afternoon? Suit and tie? The university is giving Simon Stagg..."

"Simon Stagg."

"Some big award. And you agreed--"

"--to explain the science stuff for your article. It's all coming back to me now."

"How fast can you get home and change?"

"Uh, pretty fast." 

\\\

 It happened again at the event for Simon Stagg. For the majority of the event, I was fine. I was having a lot of fun with Iris. Since I woke up, we hadn't been able to hang out much, just the two of us. I had been spending most of my time with Cisco for the past few weeks. 

"I have missed this, Barry," Iris said, looping her arm through mine. "I feel like we haven't spent any quality time together since you woke up from the coma." 

"Yeah," I said, with a grin, "I've had a crazy few weeks getting back up to date with work and everything."

"Really?" Iris asked. "You offend me." I looked at her confused. "You think I haven't noticed that you've been spending all of your time with...you know." She shimmied her shoulders at me, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. 

"No," I denied. "I don't know." That was a lie. 

"Oh come on, Barry!" Iris laughed. "Like we haven't all noticed your massive crush on Ciscooooo."

"Okay, first of all," I said defensively, "it isn't massive, thank you very much. Second of all... I don't have a counterargument. I didn't think this through." 

Iris laughed, nudging my shoulder. "It's cute," she reassured. "Besides, I'm pretty sure he likes you. And Caitlin agrees."

"I'm glad you guys think so," I said, "but I'm not sure yet. We're getting there." 

All of a sudden, there were gunshots followed with screams. I whipped my head around to see a group of masked men with guns walking in as everyone ducked down in fear. 

"How considerate," one of them shouted. "You're wearing your finest jewelry. Almost like you knew we were coming to rob you." 

I tried to remain calm, but when they shot at a security guard I knew I had to do something. I ran forward, pushing the guard out of the way just in time. I rushed him outside just as the gunmen got into a van and began driving away. I tried to race after them but was slowed down by the sudden feeling of the world spinning. A moment later I completely blacked out.

\\\

The least fun part was going from one lecture from Joe about not going after criminals to another lecture from Caitlin about not telling her, Cisco, and Wells that I've been getting these dizzy spells. While she yelled, Cisco stood in front of me, tapping on his tablet, glancing up at me every few moments. The yelling continued as Caitlin made her way to my front and Cisco walked to the other side of me, patting my shoulder, almost like a, 'I'm sorry you're on the receiving end of this, but also I totally agree.' Finishing up what she was saying, she stormed out, taking the tablet from Cisco's hands as she went. 

"Wow," Cisco said after a moment of silence. "I haven't seen anyone get her that angry since Ronnie."

"Ronnie," I said, "He was Caitlin's fiance, right? The one who died in the explosion." 

"Yeah," Cisco said.

We decided to keep running tests. We set up the treadmill, and Cisco stacked a bunch of boxes behind it as "a little padding" as Cisco put it. 

The running was fun until I passed out, flying off of the treadmill. Not so fun. 

After waking up, Caitlin had me rest in the med bay saying I should keep off my feet for an hour or two. She and Dr. Wells went off to take a last look at my test results.  

"You don't have to stay with me," I said as he sat on the bed by my feet. "I'll be fine in a few minutes. You probably have stuff to get done." 

"You trying to get rid of me?" Cisco asked with a smirk. "And to think, I thought we had something here." 

My heart skipped a beat. "Did you really?" I asked, playing along a bit. 

Cisco scooted closer to me, sitting by my thighs instead, stretching one hand over my legs to rest on the other side of me by my hip. "Yeah, really," he whispered, leaning forward a bit. My breath caught in my throat and my heart sped up. Our noses just brushed each other when he asked, "Can I kiss you?"

"Yeah," I breathed. Cisco leaned forward, closing the gap between us. It was like electricity was pumping through my veins. For a moment I couldn't breathe, but he just put his hand on my cheek and I melted into him. I set one hand on his neck and the other in his hair as his hand moved to my back, settling below my ribs. Our lips and tongues moved together softly, intimately. A moment later, Cisco pulled away slowly, before adding another peck to my lips. I smiled at him, biting softly at my lower lip. 

"I like you a lot, Barry," Cisco whispered, eyes raking my face, lips split into a grin. 

"I like you a lot too, Cisco," I said, running my thumb across his cheek. 

He pecked my lips again. "Would you like to go on a date with me sometime?" he asked, grabbing my hand from his face and holding it in his. 

"I'd love to."

"Hey," we heard Caitlin's voice from the door and Cisco shot up, turning around to face her. 

"Nothing!" he shouted. "I mean, heeeyyyy Caitlin." 

I giggled a little bit at his jumpiness before turning my attention to Caitlin. "Figure out what was wrong?" 

"Total metabolic failure brought on by acute hypoglycemia," she explained. 

"I'm not eating enough," I summed up, standing up. "So an  IV bag and I'm good to go?"

The other three turned to where around 30 or 40 used IV bags were sitting. "Try 40," Wells said. "Guess you were thirsty." 

"We're gonna need to fashion you a new diet based on your metabolic changes," Caitlin said. 

"I did some calculations while you were passed out," Cisco continued. "You need to consume an amount equal to roughly 850 tacos. Unless we're talking cheese and guac, which is like, a whole other set of equations." He turned around really excitedly and grabbed the tablet to begin his calculations. I let out a snort. 

"For Mexican," a voice came from the door, "I recommend Tito's." Joe. "Best burrito in the city." 

"Detective West," Wells said in a semi-patronizing tone. "What brings you to S.T.A.R. Labs?" 

"When I couldn't find you in your lab," he explained, "I started doing a little research. Turns out there have been reports of a red streak around the city, stopping muggers, rescuing people from burning buildings."

"You didn't tell him we were working together?" Wells asked. Great, another lecture. 

"Joe, I can explain," I said. 

"You already have a job in law enforcement, Barry," he said. He sounded disappointed. I hated when he was disappointed. "I suggest you get back to it."

Caitlin gave a little 'mmhmm' and I sent her a look and hand gesture to say, 'girl, why?'

"Detective," Wells intervened, "We all want what's best for Barry." 

"If you wanted what was best for Barry, you'd try to talk him out of this lunacy instead of encouraging him going out there risking his life," Joe said angrily.

"You saw a man control the weather!" I defended. "What are the police gonna do against someone like that? Since the accelerator explosion, we suspect there may be more like him."

"And you're gonna do what? Catch them? Are you insane?" Joe asked. "You think because you can run real fast that you're invincible? You're not! You're just a kid. My kid." 

"I'm not your kid, Joe!" I said. "And you're not my father. My father's sitting in Iron Heights. Wrongfully convicted. You were wrong about him. And you're wrong about this. Now, I may not be able to help him, but if I can save someone from a burning building or stop some armed thieves I'm gonna do it. And you can't stop me. So don't try."

"You think you're so smart," Joe said, his breath wavering. All of you. But you don't know what you don't know. And I hope that you're clever enough to figure it out before someone gets killed." And with that, he left. 

\\\

The next day, after deciding maybe the superhero life wasn't for me and that maybe Joe was right, I walked Cisco to S.T.A.R. Labs. Slowly, so we could talk. 

"I'm just saying, Barry, I think you're making a mistake," Cisco said. "Just because you can't take on someone like Black  _yet_ doesn't mean you can't  _ever_." 

I sighed. "You might have a point," I said. "I just don't really wanna talk about it right now." 

He smiled gently at me, reaching over and putting his hand in mine. I grinned a little, blushing. "Well then," Cisco said as we approached the doors, "How about tomorrow night? First date, we could have dinner and then go back to my place, watch a shitty romcom and cuddle."

"Sounds perfect," I said. 

 \\\

Later that night, I met up with Iris at Jitters. That morning she had come into CCPD with questions about why I was acting so weird. All I wanted to do was tell her that I was fast. But I told Joe I wouldn't. 

After a few donuts and a, "I guess you were hungry," from Iris, we finally got to talking. 

"I came to say I'm sorry," I told her. "And you're right. I have been distant."

"Correct," she agreed. 

"Kind of a jerk," I added. 

She grinned. "You should apologize more often," she said. "You are really sensational at it." We both laughed a bit. "So, what were you going to tell me the other day?"

"I thought I had to do something," I explained vaguely. "Something I thought was important, but it turns out that I'm not very good at it. But what I am good at is being your friend. So if you need help coming up with a new topic for your article--"

"I found one. Something that actually interests me. I know this is gonna sound crazy," she said, walking over to where her computer was plugged in, "it's been all over the internet this week." I got up and followed her. "At a building fire, at a bank heist, even the other night when that robber shot at that security guard, he said he was whooshed outside. Something out there is saving people."

"I thought you were taking journalism, not science fiction writing," I said. I was worried that if she dug too deep she'd figure out it was me. 

"Ever since I have known you, you have believed in the impossible. What if you were right? What if you were right about the night that your mom died?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. Plot comes from the CW show "The Flash."  
> Also, disclaimer: I love Star Wars!! I'm not trying to diss Star Wars, I promise.  
> Disclaimer part 3: I literally know nothing about Star Trek except there's a guy called Spock and it happens in space.

The next day--the day of my first date with Cisco--was full of me running around for the CCPD, doing my job as a CSI, anxiously awaiting that evening. Throughout the entire day all I could think about was what I would wear, what we would talk about, would we kiss again? 

After glancing at the clock again for the twelfth time in ten minutes, it was finally time to go home.  I sped straight home without finishing what I was doing--I could do it tomorrow, right?--to get ready for the date in an hour. Not that I needed the extra time since I had super speed, but I was just so excited. I haven't been this stoked for a date since I went to prom with Derek Lanchett senior year. (Don't judge me, Derek Lanchett was really cute.)

I changed about eight times before I finally settled on some skinny jeans, black converse, and a red sweater. I, of course, had to wear red, since it was Cisco's favorite color.  _Is that desperate?_ I thought to myself, looking in the mirror. I thought about it for a moment.  _Nah._  

I brushed my teeth and redid my hair, finally deeming myself ready. I was about to leave when I glanced at my watch and-- _I still have forty-five minutes left._ I groaned, falling backward onto my bed.  _What the hell am I gonna do for forty-five minutes?_

I ended up wondering downstairs where Iris was sitting watching Orange is the New Black. "Hey Barry," she said, looking up from the tv. "You look nice." 

"You think so?" I asked, unsure. 

She laughed, standing up and walking over to me. "Barry, it's gonna go well, I promise," she said, putting her hands on my shoulders. "He is going to love you." 

Logically, there's no way for her to know that for sure, but still, her words relax me. "I haven't liked someone pre-first date this much in years," I said, burrowing my face into my hands, making Iris laugh again. 

"Who was it again?" she asked, feigning ignorance. "Drew? Drake? Derek? That was it, right? Derek Lanchett at senior prom?" 

I could feel myself starting to blush. I took my hands down from my face, muttering a small, "shut up." 

Iris and I ended up chatting for another half-hour before I left. "Thanks for hanging out with me," I told her as I walked towards the door. "I don't think I'm nervous anymore!" I froze for a second before adding, "Actually, yes I am. But thanks anyway."

I walked out the door, but not before she could shout, "You'll be fine, you nerd!"

I laughed under my breath, letting myself walk at regular person speed. Despite all the time I spent talking to Iris, I was still a bit early. 

I showed up outside Cisco's door right at 6:00 and took a deep breath before bringing my hand up to knock on the door. A few moments passed and the door opened, and there was Cisco. He wore jeans and high tops, along with a plain green t-shirt and black jacket. "Hey," I said, grinning. 

"Hi," he said nervously. He brushed some hair behind his ear before returning to his usual dorky self. "You ready?" he asked with a wide grin. 

"Of course," I replied. Cisco locked the door and we began walking, but only made it about ten feet before Cisco stopped abruptly. "You good?" I asked, turning to face him. 

"Yeah," he said, "I just forgot something."

"What?" I asked.

Instead of answering, he took a step towards me, grabbed my face in his hands, and kissed me gently, pulling away before I had time to respond. 

"Okay, I'm good now." 

\\\

I had been a bit worried that it was going to be awkward. I mean sure, Cisco and I clicked, and we got on really well, but a date situation is a bit different. Or at least that's what I thought. 

From the moment we got our seats at the restaurant, it was just like any regular evening with Cisco--except now I got to hold his hand and kiss him, which of course was a bonus. 

"Okay, listen," Cisco said between bites of fries, "I don't care what anyone says. Star Trek is way better than Star Wars. I mean don't get me wrong--Star Wars is great, I love it--but it's kind of basic, right? There are the good guys trying to stop the bad guys and the bad guys trying to kill everyone. Star Trek just has more depth." 

 "I mean, fair point," I said, "and there is much more Star Trek. But, like.... light sabers, ya know?"

"Your argument for Star Wars versus Star Trek is... light sabers?" Cisco asked, raising an eyebrow. I laughed. "You know what I think?" Cisco leaned up close to me. 

"What do you think?" I challenged, leaning forward so we were face to face. 

"I think that you know I'm right," Cisco said. He got up on his elbows, leaning forward more so that our noses brushed, and whispered: "and you're too ashamed to admit it." 

The sexual tension could've been cut with a knife, but before I could do anything, Cisco sat back down, shoving a fry in his mouth. "Ha!" he said as I leaned back. "I got you all flustered." 

He wasn't wrong--I could already feel the heat rushing to my cheeks, my stomach doing flips. Regardless, I slumped down a bit with a "shut up" and a tiny grin. 

We stared at each other in silence for a moment, before Cisco said, "Star Trek is still better, though," and went back to chowing down on his fries. I let out a loud laugh, looking at him with what could only be described as affection. "What?" Cisco asked after noticing my staring. 

"Nothing," I shrugged, beaming. "You're just cute." 

"You think I'm cute?" Cisco asked. "Well boy, I've got news for you. Heard of a mirror?"

That was probably the hardest I had laughed all evening. Cisco just stared at me for a moment before chuckling with me. When I finally calmed down, I looked at him and said, "That was the worst pick up line anyone's ever given me. But it's cute, and you're cute, so I'll live." 

"Hey!" he shouted, throwing a fry at me, "I put a lot of thought into that!"

"Did you?" I asked, eating the fry he threw. 

"No, but still," he said, feigning offense. "Rude!"

Now we were both laughing for real, and Cisco was throwing his last three fries at me, which in turn made me laugh harder. When we were able to breathe again, Cisco asked, "Can I have those fries back now?" I just chuckled, offering him the rest of my fries. He dropped his jaw and held a hand to his heart. "Really?" he asked, "You're giving me your fries?" 

"Yeah, I had like, four appetizers, so..." 

\\\

On our way back to Cisco's apartment, we walked slowly, letting our conjoined hands swing. We didn't talk, except to make little comments about things going on around us. Instead, we just enjoyed each other's company. Enjoyed holding hands. Enjoyed being together. 

As we got closer, Cisco finally sparked up a conversation. "I really like you, Barry," he said, looking up at me. 

"Yeah, I really like you too, Cisco," I said, with a grin. 

"You're the only person I'm out to, and honestly I wasn't really sure if coming out to the team was something I was ready to do," he said. "But this... this is just so easy. And so good. And maybe we don't have to say anything right away. But I just want to hold your hand or kiss you even when there are other people around. Besides, the only reason I would  _not_ want to come out is because of my parents, but they don't have to know, you know?" 

"Yeah I know," I said. "And whatever you want is good with me. If you just want to wait a while, that's fine. I understand. I mean, I've known I was gay since I was twelve and never felt comfortable coming out until I was seventeen. When you're ready you'll know. There's no need to rush." 

By the time I had finished, we had reached Cisco's front door. We stopped and he turned to look at me, reaching up to wrap his arms around my neck. I responded by setting my hands on his hips. "Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely amazing?" he asked. 

I let out a little laugh. "I've heard it a few times," I responded. I leaned down, letting our lips brush gently for a moment before moving forward, deepening the kiss. Our lips seemed to have molded together perfectly, fitting together like pieces of a puzzle. For a moment we just stood there, lost in each other, lips moving together, gently flicking our tongues over the others' lips. He pulled away slowly, pecking my lips one, two more times before settling back down on the balls of his feet--though, when he moved to his tip-toes I wasn't sure. 

"Let's just keep this to ourselves for now," I suggested. "This is all brand new for both of us and you're not out yet, so let's take our time."

"I think that's a good idea," Cisco said.

"But I should probably tell you--Iris already knows; I tell her everything!" 

Cisco erupted into laughter and pecked me on the lips. "It's okay, I can forgive you," he joked. "I get it, I tell Caitlin everything. Well, normally I do. For now, this is just between us. And Iris apparently."

"I'm sorry!" I said, mostly in embarrassment, hiding my face in Cisco's shoulder. 

He chuckled. "It's okay, tell her everything," he said. "We don't know each other well anyway. All of our conversation happened while you were in a coma and consisted solely of her saying, 'how is he?' and me replying, 'literally the exact same as yesterday, dude,' so it's cool."

I laughed. "Okay, good to know." 

He leaned up to kiss me one more time. "Let's go watch a movie," he said, reluctantly moving his hands from my neck to unlock the door. 

We ended up watching Titanic, but I didn't complain because, to be fair, he  _did_ promise me a shitty rom-com. We spent the entire time in each other's arms and it was heavenly. Throughout the movie, we'd share sarcastic comments ("C'mon seriously? There's totally room for Jack on that door.") and quick kisses. 

When the movie ended, we didn't get up. We lay there for a few more moments, cherishing being so close to each other. Finally, though, we sat up separating ourselves from each other grudgingly. "This was absolutely amazing," I said, brushing my thumb across Cisco's cheek. 

"Yeah," he responded simply, leaning into my palm. 

I leaned forward, pressing my lips gently against his for a long moment before pulling back, resting our foreheads together. "I'll see you tomorrow," I said. "And maybe we could go out again. Saturday." 

Cisco bit his lower lip gently and nodded, his eyes glancing down at my lips. I smirked, pulling him in for one more kiss. 

After another five minutes, we were finally able to pull ourselves away from each other long enough for me to get out the door. I walked home slowly, thinking about the night I had just had. 

And as I lay in bed, all I could think was that I was falling for Cisco, and I was falling quick. 

\\\

The next night was spent with Iris. We ended up deciding to go see a new movie about zombies, but it wasn't all that great. "Regular movie scale that was a seven or an eight," I explained to her as we walked out of the theater. "Zombie movie scale, it was like, a four, tops." 

"There's a zombie movie scale?" Iris asked as if she was surprised I could become any more of a nerd. 

I just kept going, ignoring Iris judging me. "Did you know that zombies exist in nature?" I asked, "There's a species of fungi that infect ants, causing the ants to attack plants, that can release spores which in turn infect new hosts." Iris was wearing that look. The 'I actually don't really care' look. "I'm going full nerd again, aren't I?"

"Yep," she replied, with a smug grin. 

"Yeah," I sighed a bit. 

"Yeah, it's okay though," she added. "You are still the cutest nerd that I know. And," she kept going, drawing out the 'a' in and, "I bet I'm not the only one who thinks so."

"What are you--stop wiggling your eyebrows at me!"

"You still haven't told me jack squat about your date yesterday!" she said, looking a bit offended, event hitting me in the arm for effect. 

I wanted to feign disinterest to mess with her, but before I could even think of a response my mouth spread into a wide grin--without my permission, might I add. 

"Ooooh, so it went well?" Iris asked, wiggling her shoulders. 

"Yeah," I said, "We're going out again tomorrow."

"Really?" she responded, "So soon?"

"Yeah," I shrugged, "we both really like each other. But he's not really ready to come out so don't say anything to Caitlin, please. I know you two are getting close."

"My lips are sealed."

"And that means you can't tell anyone! Not even Joe or Eddie." I said seriously. "I probably shouldn't have even said anything to you, but... I'm just so excited. And I'm so happy. And it feels... strange to be so happy, you know? Like, it's all happening so quickly. And I've never really believed in fate or meant to be, but... there's something... something so real, and genuine, and... I don't know, I'm rambling." 

"Awe, Barry is in looooove," Iris teased.

"Alright," I laughed, "now you're getting ahead of yourself."

At that moment Iris' phone rung. "It's Eddie," she explained. "I'm crashing at his place tonight, he's supposed to leave the key for me." 

Just as she turned around to answer, my phone rung as well. It was Cisco. I smiled to myself and answered. "Hey," I said.  _Smooth._

"Hey, Bar. We've got a code 237 on Waid Boulevard," Cisco answered. 

"Public indecency?" I asked dully. 

"Wait, I think I meant 239."

"Dog leash violation?"

"Bad man with a gun in a getaway car," Caitlin intervened. "GO!"

I turned to see Iris still talking to Eddie and decided to just go for it. I sped down to Waid Boulevard as quickly as I could, which, let's be real, is pretty freaking quick, and snatched 'bad man', as Caitlin described him, out of his car and into the cop car tailing him. Then I turned around and headed straight back to Iris, who didn't even notice I was gone. 

"Eddie says hi," Iris said when she turned around. 

"Nice of him," I replied. "You wanna grab a bite? I'm feeling a little famished." 

"After the Mongolian barbeque we had before the movie and the extra large popcorn you had at the movie? How are you not fat?"

"I've been jogging."

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. Plot comes from the CW show "The Flash."

The next day I walked into CCPD just as the officers who were after 'bad man with a gun' last night were walking by. "The perp was in the backseat of the cruiser before he even knew what happened," Paulson boasted. 

"Congratulations, Paulson," Joe said as he walked past them, "on that arrest last night. Hell of a job."

"You come by later, Joe. I'm gonna give you a driving lesson, okay?" he joked, walking away. 

Joe and I turned to head upstairs. "Wasn't even him last night, it was me," I said in disbelief. 

"I figured," Joe said. "I just didn't realize you were helping people for the glory." 

"It's not like I want a museum built in my name," I explained. "Keeping what I can do a secret from Iris and everyone, it's harder than I thought." 

"I know," Joe said, "but it is safer that way. Besides, me and you got work to do."

 I honestly felt like Iris would be safer if she  _did_ know, that way she could prepare herself in case any vile metas decided they had a personal bone to pick with me. It wouldn't be that hard for them to figure out that Iris was my closest friend. Regardless of these feelings, I decided not to say anything to Joe. He just stopped being pissed at me for fighting crime, I didn't need him to pissed at me for something else. 

Up in the crime lab, Joe brought out a box. It was the evidence from my mom's case. "I've been through that box a thousand times, Joe," I said. 

Regardless, now that Joe knew it was possible, he was almost as determined as I was to prove my father innocent and get him out of prison. 

\\\

Fast forward to S.T.A.R. Labs. There had been a gas attack on the Darbynian crime family, but something didn't quite add up. In order for them to die where they did, the gas had to have a mind of its own. Clearly, we were dealing with a meta. 

"Fascinating," Wells said, rolling up to the computers. "A meta-human that can manipulate poison gas." 

"Is it just poisonous gas or can he control all aerated substances?" Cisco asked, coming out of the med bay. As he walked toward me, our eyes met, and we shared a small smile. Man, keeping this to ourselves was gonna be harder than I thought. 

"And how is he able to form the connection?" Caitlin asked, breaking me from my thoughts. "Is it physiological or psychological?"

"This individual can create a mental nexus using gaseous substances," Wells explained. 

"You mean to connect with gases on a molecular level?" Cisco spelled out, mostly for Joe. 

"Yes!" said Wells.

"That is ridiculously cool," Cisco gushed. 

"They get really excited about this stuff," I said to Joe under my breath. 

"The only thing I'm excited about," Joe droned, "is putting criminals behind bars. Except--Iron Heights isn't exactly equipped to handle meta-humans." 

"Then I guess it's fortunate the ones you've encountered so far are no longer with us," Wells said. 

Cisco and I shared a look.  _Can you believe this guy?_ Cisco's face seemed to ask. 

_I know, can he fucking chill?_ I tried to convey back. 

"Well unless we plan on executing every super criminal we stop you geniuses are gonna have to come up with someplace else to hold them," Joe said incredulously. 

"A meta-human prison," Cisco said. "Sweet." I couldn't help but grin a little at him. How could one person be so cute?

"Until we figure out a way to remove their powers," Wells said. 

"There is one place here that might hold them," Cisco said. 

"You can't be serious," Caitlin said. "I mean we haven't been down there since--it's cordoned off." 

"Cisco is right," Wells said as Joe and I exchanged a 'what the fuck is going on here' look. "It could be modified to act as a makeshift prison." 

"What could?" I asked, looking at the three of them. 

"The particle accelerator," Wells explained. 

At this, Caitlin zoned. Whatever happened that night, the night the accelerator exploded, it had left a serious scar on Caitlin, that much was obvious. 

"Let's go down," Wells said, rolling away. Noticing Caitlin wasn't moving, he said, "Caitlin. Caitlin, did you hear me?" She finally snapped out of her trance. "We're going down to the particle accelerator ring."

"Actually, Dr. Wells, I could use Caitlin's help identifying the poison gas," I said. If there's one thing I understand it's the death of a loved one. She didn't need to go down there. 

At this, Caitlin let out a sigh of relief. "Okay," Wells said and turned to keep rolling. 

\\\

"Can I ask you something that you don't have to answer?" I asked Caitlin while we waited for the tissue sample analysis. 

"My least favorite kind of question," she joked. "Shoot." 

"Ronnie," I said. "What was he like? You never talk about him that much." 

"We met when we were working on the particle accelerator," Caitlin explained. "He was the structural engineer. He liked to joke that he was basically a very high-priced plumber." We both let out a small chuckle at that. "We were very different," Caitlin continued. "You might have noticed I can be a bit... guarded. Ronnie knew how to make me laugh. He used to say we were like fire and ice. He wasn't supposed to be there that night. He was just there for me. If he hadn't--"

Just then the analysis finished, cutting Caitlin off. "This says that there was no residue of gas in the tissue," Caitlin read, "poisonous or otherwise." 

"It must have evaporated," I said. "We'll need to get a fresh sample." 

"Wait, this can't be right," she said, walking over to where I was sitting. "This says that there are two distinct strands of DNA inside the tissue." 

"How did someone else's DNA get inside the victim's lungs?" I asked, dumbfounded. "There's no DNA match in the database." 

"I don't understand," Caitlin said. "Why would a chemical attack leave behind another person's DNA inside the victim?"

Then it dawned on me. "What if the meta-human we're looking for doesn't control gas? What if he becomes it?" 

\\\

It was just a few minutes later that there was a toxic gas attack at the Central City Mall. Despite Caitlin's protests, I put on the suit and headed out. 

"I patched into the mall's security system," Cisco told me over the coms. "According to witnesses, the gas attack was in the main elevator in the north wing." 

"Which one is the north wing?" I asked. 

"The one with the Big Belly Burger," Wells said.  _Oh, okay. I've got this._  

By the time I got there, the woman had died, but I saw a glimpse of the gas going behind a door. 

"Why did you kill that woman?" I shouted after the gas had transformed into a man. 

"She deserved to die," he answered simply. "Now go run away. I still have one more name on my list. Don't make me add you to it."

I ran to him, punching him in the face. Or at least, I tried. His head turned to gas. I couldn't touch him. But he could punch me--and he did, before turning into poison again, shoving a bit of the poison up my nose into my lungs, and flying away. 

With that I ran as quickly as I could back to S.T.A.R. Labs, running almost head first into Wells and Cisco. I could barely tell what was going on, but what I did know was that Caitlin needed to cut me open to get a fresh sample of the gas. I knew they were talking around me, over me, but I was so focused on trying to breathe that I didn't hear any of what they were saying. 

"I can't give you any anesthetic," I heard Caitlin say faintly. 

 "I heal quick, remember?" I gasped. 

Next thing I knew there was a needle going through my chest and I passed out from the pain. 

\\\

As I slowly drifted from unconsciousness, I noticed Cisco and Caitlin standing next to the bed where I was laying. "The streak lives," Cisco joked, but I could tell, pretty easily, that he had been worried. I imagined he would've said something then too if Caitlin knew we were dating. 

"You'd be dead if your lung cells didn't regenerate so quickly," Caitlin said, also clearly worried. 

"Ugh," I groaned, "my chest feels like that one time I had a cigarette." Caitlin gave me a weird look. "Yeah," I said, "teen me lived for danger." 

"This isn't funny, you could've--" started Caitlin. 

"I didn't," I said quickly. 

"Now that we have a sample," Wells said from the vortex, "we'll get to work analyzing it, figure out the makeup of the poison, maybe get a clue as to his human identity." 

I started to sit up a little, aided by Cisco. "Or at least a way to stop him from turning into a mist," Cisco said. "The Mist! Okay, that's his name. End of discussion."

"I have to get to the station," I said, standing up. 

"You should be resting," Wells intervened. 

"I have to talk to Joe," I explained. 

"Let me walk with you," Cisco said. "We don't need you... passing out or anything." Of course I knew that that wasn't why he wanted to walk with me, but of course, I agreed. 

We walked out of the building together in silence. When we got to the road, Cisco finally began talking. "I was really worried about you, you dumbass," he said. 

"I know," I replied gently. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak you guys out." 

"I know you didn't, Bar," he said. "I just really care about you, okay? And it freaks me out that you could've died. Guess I've gotta get used to it though. If you're gonna be a superhero, you're gonna get hurt, I know that. Doesn't stop me from worrying though." 

I reached over, linking our pinkies together. "Hey," I said softly. "I can't promise that I'm always gonna make it out okay. I just need you to trust that I'm always gonna fight to make it out alive. For Joe, and for Iris. For Wells, and Caitlin. And for you, Cisco."

We locked eyes for just a moment before Cisco nudged me with his shoulder. "Alright, Mr. Sappy, enough of that," he joked. "We're here." Just as we reached the doors, we unlined our pinkies, somewhat reluctantly. We walked up to the crime lab together, where Joe was sitting. 

"Joe, I had him," I said. "The meta-human. We were wrong. He's not controlling airborne toxins." 

"He can literally transform himself into poison gas," Cisco enthused. 

"That's new," Joe said, seeming exasperated both by the meta and Cisco's capability to be excited about literally everything. "The victim was a judge. We're going through some of her old cases to see if there's a connection." 

"It's too late," I said. "I should've been faster."

"Focus on the job," Joe said. 

"Yeah, Barry, you can't beat yourself up over it," Cisco added. "There wouldn't have been anything you could've done differently that would've saved her." 

"I have been a cop," Joe said, "for almost as long as you've been alive. So you should know, putting on that suit does not make everybody safe. For every person you save, there's going to be somebody you can't. And the hardest thing you're gonna have to face isn't some monster out there with powers. It's gonna be that feeling of uselessness when you can't do anything. Or the guilt that weighs on you when you make a mistake."

\\\

Cisco and I walked silently back to his place, pinkies linked and arms brushing. 

"So much for date night, huh?" Cisco joked. 

I let out a low chuckle. "Doesn't mean we can't spend time together, though." 

"Yeah, of course," Cisco said with a smile. "I'll order a pizza... or six. We can just relax and watch a movie."

"Sounds perfect," I said, just as we reached Cisco's door. 

When we got inside, Cisco made a move for the phone, but I cut him off, grabbing his hand and pulling him closer to me. "I'm sorry I freaked you out," I said, leaning my forehead against his. 

He smiled brightly up at me. "I mean," he started, "it was all pretty bad ass." 

We both laughed softly, simultaneously leaning in and pressing our lips together in a chaste kiss. Cisco pulled back first, opting instead to wrap his arms tightly around my middle. I reciprocated by wrapping my arms around his shoulders. And for a few long minutes, we stood there like that, wrapped in each other's arms, and I couldn't help but think that something about this, something about us, felt tangible and real in a way I never thought possible. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. Plot comes from the CW show "The Flash."  
> Smut warning at the very beginning.

Two weeks had passed since we put The Mist in the makeshift prison under S.T.A.R. Labs and our lives were low on meta drama. I had spent almost all of my time either at work or with Cisco. After just a month together it seemed impossible to not be near him. Everything was going so well it felt unreal. Like on Friday night, when I couldn't find the motivation to go home and spent the night cuddled up to Cisco in his bed. 

It was only 9:00 and I was lying in Cisco's arms, my head resting on his chest. I'd never felt more at peace than I did at this moment. He had one hand stroking my back softly, the other holding mine against his stomach. We laid in a comfortable silence and every once in awhile, Cisco would lean down and place a gentle kiss on my head. "You know," he said after a while, "I'm gonna take you on another date tomorrow night. Evil metas be damned." 

I let out a soft laugh, turning my head up to look into his eyes. "Sounds amazing," I whispered. He grinned and leaned down to press his lips gently against mine. I readjusted a bit to be more comfortable, moving my lips slowly with his. It was like second nature to kiss Cisco. Like it was meant to happen, as cliche as that sounds. I moved my hand that was holding his up to his cheek and into his hair, and I felt his move to my hip. He pulled me closer, making us chest to chest, as he poked his tongue out, licking my bottom lip. Automatically I parted my lips, giving room for him to deepen the kiss.

Suddenly it was like I could feel him everywhere. I felt his hands on my waist, drawing me closer, his chest pressed against mine, his tongue caressing the roof of my mouth. Without any warning, I was overwhelmed by Cisco, completely taken over by my emotions. I poured everything into that kiss. Everything that I didn't want to say because it was too soon;  _this is real, you are everything, I want you, I need you..._

I drew my hand out of his hair, slowly down his neck and chest until it reached the hem of his shirt. Without thinking twice, I slid my hand underneath, feeling the skin of his stomach. Before I knew what was happening, Cisco had flipped us over, so that I was lying on my back and he was hovering over me. He held himself up with one elbow, settling his other on my hip below the fabric of my shirt. Slowly, he pulled his lips from mine, instead pressing open-mouthed kisses along my jaw and down to my neck. I had to bite my lip to keep in the moan that was threatening to escape. 

He moved a bit lower, peppering kisses to my collarbone before suddenly biting down. I couldn't help but let out a low moan, bucking my hips up involuntarily. I quickly moved to cover my mouth out of embarrassment. After just a few minutes of making out, I was already ridiculously hard. Cisco reached up to move my hand from my mouth before leaning down to whisper in my ear. "Don't worry about making noises," he said, his breath hot against my neck. "It's sexy." With that, he ground his hips down into mine, his hard-on pressing into my hip. I let out another moan, louder, higher this time. "That's it, baby," Cisco whispered, running his fingers down my chest. 

Quickly, he sat up to pull off his shirt, and I didn't have much time to be impressed because next thing I knew, he was leaning down to kiss me again. This one was different. It was still deep and intimate, but it was also rushed and filled with desire, with need. I reached my hands into his hair, tugging gently. At this, Cisco let out a deep sigh, grinding his hips into mine again, this time aligning our erections perfect. He tugged at the hem of my shirt, a silent request for me to take it off. And when I did his lips traveled down my neck again, this time going further. He pressed kisses into my chest, stopping only to lick my nipples. And his kisses kept going further and further until finally, he was staring at the tent in my pajama bottoms. He looked up at me, a silent request to go further. I nodded. We had never gone past kissing before, but we had waited long enough. 

Slowly, he pushed down my pants and boxers, letting my cock spring free. He pushed my bottoms all the way off my legs and onto the floor before wrapping his hand loosely around my member. Leaning forward to kiss me again, he moved his hand slowly, stroking from the head to the base, stopping occasionally to swipe his thumb over the slit, using the precum as lube. A moment later he moved down, swiping his tongue up from my balls to my tip, wrapping his lips around the head of my dick. I let out a low moan, letting my fingers go into his hair as I used every bit of willpower I had not to buck up into his mouth. 

Little by little he sunk down further, taking more and more of me into his mouth. When he had most of it, he hollowed his cheeks and began sucking, moving up and down, until I felt the tip of my cock hit the back of his throat. Without any warning, I bucked my hips, letting out a loud moan. "Fuck, Cisco," I panted. "So good, feels so fucking good." 

He pulled off briefly to catch his breath, and when he went back down, he took all of me in his mouth. His nose pressed into the patch of hair surrounding my dick and he stayed there for a moment, before beginning to move again. It wasn't too much longer before--"Fuck, Cisco, Cisco," I moaned, "I'm so close, I'm gonna... fuck, fuck, I--"

Before I could finish, I was coming down the back of Cisco's throat. I moaned loudly as he sucked me through my orgasm, swallowing every ounce of cum that came out. Finally, he came off my dick and leaned over me, staring into my eyes as he began stroking his own neglected erection. I reached my hand down, replacing his with my own. I leaned up to kiss him, moving my hand across his dick. "Fuck, Bar," Cisco mumbled against my lips, "I'm close, I'm gonna cum." I reached the hand not stroking his dick to his chest, running my fingers over his nipples, pinching and tweaking them. A moment later he came all across my hand and chest with a low moan. 

Cisco rolled off of me onto the pillow next to me. "That was amazing," he said. 

I simply looked over at him. My boyfriend, blissed out from sex, a shit-eating grin on his face. In that moment the only thing I could think was that if I spent the rest of my life like this, I would be happy. And I was happy. That moment was the happiest I had ever been. And maybe it was because of my post-orgasm high, or how beautiful Cisco looked in this moment, but I had something I absolutely needed to tell him. 

"I love you." 

...

"I love you too." 

 

//

The next morning, I woke up naked in Cisco's arms which is, objectively, the best way to wake up. "Good morning, sweetheart," I heard him say. 

I looked up at him and smiled. "Good morning, my love."

"Did you sleep well?" he asked. 

"Amazing," I said, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. "I'm holding you to that promise you made me last night." 

"Oh yeah?" Cisco asked. "Which one?"

"Date night," I said. "Evil metas be damned."

"Oh of course," Cisco laughed. "I wouldn't want to deprive you of a fantastic evening out with yours truly." 

I rolled my eyes at him, despite the grin on my face. "You're lucky you're cute," I said. 

"Oh yeah?" he challenged. 

"Yeah," I said. And, with my superspeed, I climbed on top of him, straddling his hips, before he could even process what was happening, and my fingers flew to his sides.

"Barryyyyy!" Cisco yelled between hard laughs. I continued to tickle him for a moment, before stopping my fingers and leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. 

"I love you," I said. 

"Yeah, ok, nerd, I love you too," he said, making me laugh. I got off of where I was sitting on his hips and went back to lying down next to him. "I think we should tell the others," Cisco said after a moment of silence. 

"Really?" I asked. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah," he grinned. "I am." 

//

About an hour later, we walked into S.T.A.R. Labs together. I had the day off at CCPD, so I had decided to spend the day here with my fun, science-y friends. When we walked in, Caitlin and Dr. Wells were playing a game of chess. 

"Everybody!" Cisco said loudly as if there were more than two people in the lab. "I have an announcement to make!" I couldn't help but laugh at how extravagant he was being. "I, your dear friend Francisco Ramon," he continued, "am very bisexual. And I have been dating your other dear friend, Bartholemew Allen, for the past month. Thank you for your time." 

At this point, I was finding it very difficult to hold my laughter in, but I somehow succeeded. Caitlin stood up, taking a few steps towards us. "What, like it was a secret?" she asked sarcastically. Cisco and I shared a look. "Oh!" Caitlin yelled. "It was a secret. Um, well...."

"You two are very bad a keeping secrets," Dr. Wells said, wheeling into the conversation. "We knew. This entire time."

"Oh," I said, "well..."

"We're happy for you," Caitlin said, walking forward to bring us both into a hug. 

"Yes, yes, it's a very happy thing, young love," Dr. Wells interjected. "Now, Allen, would you join me in a game of chess?"

//

A few minutes later I found myself training. Or at least, that's what Dr. Wells said. I was switching between table tennis with Cisco, chess with Dr. Wells, and Operation with Caitlin. "To test the speed of your mind by pushing your ability to multitask," Dr. Wells had put it. Whatever. I was just having a good time. 

Just as I beat Cisco at ping pong, Dr. Wells called checkmate. "Wait," I said, running to the chess table. "Checkmate?"

"Checkmate." I looked at the table trying to see what I had done wrong. "I guess you still have a few things left to learn, Mr. Allen."

"Guys," Cisco yelled from the other side of the room, "Armed robbery at 4th and Collins."  

I walked over to where my suit was. "For the record," I said, "I crushed it in both Operation and ping pong." 

//

I was able to stop the armed robbery pretty easily, but one of the guards had been shot and needed to be rushed to the hospital, and the robbers all got away. 

I showed up to the crime scene as quickly as possible. "There's nothing missing," Joe said. "It looks like someone interrupted the robbery." I knew what he was implying. 

"Guard says there were three of them," Singh said. 

"Actually there were four," I corrected, before realizing I shouldn't have said that. "I mean, that's how many I would bring if I were doing a robbery of this nature. That's definitely a four guy truck. A driver, two more to cover the guards, and... someone used liquid nitrogen to crack open this door, so four bad guys." 

"Thank you, Mr. Allen, for your brilliant insight," Singh said, walking away.

"For somebody so fast, you're a little slow on the improvising," Joe said. "Did you see anything that could help us catch these guys?"

"Yeah," I said. "One of them lost his mask. I saw his face." 

"Let's head back to the station then," Joe said. 

"I can't stick around for long, though," I said. 

"Oh?" Joe asked. 

"Yeah," I said. "I've got a date tonight."

"Really?" Joe asked. "Anyone I know?"

"Yeah, actually," I said. "Cisco. We've been dating about a month now." 

"Barry, that's great!" Joe said. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"He just... wasn't ready yet," I said. "Which, of course, I respect. I've been there." 

"Of course," Joe nodded. 

When we got to the station, Joe handed me the book of Central City's most wanted. Quickly (using my superspeed), I looked through, stopping at a guy named Leonard Snart. "This is him," I said. "Leonard? That's almost as bad as Bartholomew." 

"Snart ain't sexy either," Joe said. "Snart's father was a cop. A bad cop. Took his anger out on his kids until he went to prison."

"Snart's dad's in prison too?" I asked. "We should start a club." 

"He shows up, like, every six months," Joe continued, ignoring me, "he cases a job for weeks before he makes his move. Then, he does the job--gets away." 

"That's before the Streak was around," I said, rather arrogantly. 

"Did you just refer to yourself in the third person?" Joe asked. 

"I referred to the Streak, which I'm pretty sure I can top," I said. "I've been thinking of a new name. What do you think about the Fla--"

"Coffee break!" someone said. We both turned to see Iris standing there, holding coffee from Jitters. "Thought I would bring Central City's finest java over to Central City's finest."

"Thanks," Joe said, turning to walk away. "I'm off caffeine. Have fun on your date, Bar." 

"My dad's been mad at me ever since I told him about me and Eddie," Iris explained. 

"No, you mean he's mad at you because you didn't tell him," I said. 

"You didn't tell him about Cisco!" she said. 

"That's different though," I said. "Cisco only just came out. Today."

"Ugh," she groaned. "Well, I guess good for him. Anyways, speaking of communications, or lack thereof, after all of these journalism classes, I got an idea." 

"Hm?" I asked. 

"I started a blog," she said. 

"Alright," I said, "what's it about, you're brownie obsession? 'Cause you know, you probably shouldn't broadcast that."

"No," she said, "Something important. Something Central City needs to know about. The Streak. He's out there, Barry. Rumor has it, he stopped an armed car robbery earlier. I was hoping that I could take a look at the file, and--"

"What?" I asked. "I'm not at liberty to discuss an ongoing police investigation with you." 

"Since when, Mr. Blabbermouth?" she asked in disbelief. I didn't blame her. Normally this is the kind of thing we'd be all over together. 

"Take it from someone who's been investigating the impossible since they were 11," I said. "Blogging about this is only gonna bring the crazies to your front door."

"My blog is anonymous," she said. 

"Alright well, anonymous or not, it's not safe," I said. "You never know what kind of weirdos are out there trolling on the internet." 

"I can vouch for that," a voice said as we walked into my lab. "The internet is full of weirdos and nerd rage... Lots and lots of nerd rage." There, in the flesh, stood Felicity Smoak. I chuckled, and then she did and took notice of Iris standing there. "Hi," she introduced herself, "I'm Felicity Smoak."

"Iris West." 

"Barry Allen," I added. "But you both already knew that. Felicity is--"

"The girl that you met in Starling City, the computer, right?" Iris asked. "You two worked on one of Barry's unexplainable cases."

"Which, long story short was definitely explainable," Felicity joked. "So the lightning came through here?" 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. Plot comes from the CW show "The Flash."

Iris and I spent some more time talking with Felicity before I had to head home to get ready for my date with Cisco. I got changed quickly, making sure to brush my teeth and restyle my hair, before running to Cisco's place. I knocked on the door and it swung open a moment later. "Hey babe," I said, leaning in to peck his lips. 

"Hi," he said. "Come on in, I'm almost ready." He held the door open for me to come in, and I sat on the couch while he finished up. "Alright," he said, walking out of his room a few minutes later, "let's go." He grabbed my hand and we walked out the front door. 

"You know," he started, "I really like being out, 'cause like, I can hold your hand. And I love holding your hand." 

"Me too," I said, intertwining our fingers together and squeezing gently. He squeezed back and I giggled a bit. I couldn't believe myself. Giggling. Because a cute boy squeezed my hand. What had gotten into me? 

"I love you," Cisco said. 

Oh yeah, that's right. I was in love. "I love you, too," I said. A few moments later we reached the restaurant and were seated immediately. 

"So," I said. "What happened after I stopped that armed robbery earlier?" 

"Not much," Cisco said. "Caitlin and I got to talking. She was asking me a bunch of questions. About, ya know, us and stuff."

"Yeah?" I asked. "It's weird, the first few weeks or so of being out. It's like, suddenly you don't have to watch what you say to make sure you don't 'sound gay', which is great. But also people can't ever seem to figure out how to not ask questions. Which I get, I guess, and they usually mean the best, but it's still irritating."

"That's exactly what I was thinking," Cisco said. "She kept asking me how I knew I liked guys. I was like, 'I dunno man, how did you know you liked guys?'" 

I laughed at that. "That's a perfect response," I said. "I wish I had thought of that in high school." 

Cisco chuckled. "I mean, don't get me wrong, coming out is like the greatest thing I've ever done." 

"Okay, wow," I joked, "Guess I'll just go then." 

"Oh, shut up," Cisco laughed. "You're such a noob." 

"Yeah, but I'm your favorite noob," I said. 

"Yeah, I guess so," he sighed. 

"Babe!" I said, laughing. 

"Okay, yeah, yeah," he joked. "You're my favorite noob. You're the cutest too." 

"Yeah, I am, aren't I?" I asked, looking off into the distance in fake-deep thought. Cisco laughed, throwing a bread roll at me. 

"Hey!" I shouted, grinning. "That's abuse." 

"You're lucky you're cute."

//

The next day I took a walk with Felicity in the park. "Iris seems very nice," Felicity said. "And really pretty. Congratulations." 

"What?" I asked, "Oh. OH! No," I laughed, "Iris isn't my girlfriend." 

"Oh," Felicity said. "I'm sorry." 

"No, it's fine," I said, "I get it. Actually, I'm gay. I have a boyfriend. But he's pretty, too." 

Felicity laughed. "Really?" she said. "Tell me about him." 

"He's an engineer, ridiculously smart," I said. "But he's also kind, and funny, really funny. Oh, and hot, too." 

"He sounds great," she said. 

"So," I said, "Not to sound like I don't want you, but what are you really doing here?"

"I came because I wanted to see you," she said. "I heard you were out of the coma. Didn't call, didn't write, didn't... race over." 

"Oliver told you?" I asked. 

"Honestly, I heard you two talking on that rooftop in Starling City that night," she admitted. "I want to see it." She looked at me weird. "And by 'it' I mean your super speed, in case you thought I was talking about something else, which I-I was not." 

"Okay," I said. "You see that building?" I point to a skyscraper next to us. "Keep your eyes on it." 

I ran to the building up the stairs, did a few laps on the roof (with a shout of "woohooooo"), took a picture of the ground and raced back down to Felicity, handing her my phone with the photo of Central City Park from the top of the building. 

"Woah," she said. "You took a picture of me? From the top of that building?" 

"Yeah," I said. "Don't Instagram that." 

"Unbelievable," she said. Just then my shoes started smoking. 

I stomped the tiny flame out and told her, "That-that's fine, it happens sometimes. That's why I have a friction-proof suit." 

"Where did you get that?" she asked. 

"My boyfriend made it," I said. "Wanna go meet him?"

"Yes!" 

//

I took Felicity to S.T.A.R. Labs and showed her around the facility. "This is where my team monitors the police bands for criminal activity," I explained as we walked into the cortex. "We can track anything that happens in the city. Check this out, we've got our own satellite."

"I know," Felicity said, looking around. "I've hacked into it from time to time."

"Rude," Cisco said, walking up to the pair of us with Caitlin. 

"It is, of course, so wonderful to see you again, Felicity," Caitlin said politely. "I'm just wondering how much of our operation she needs to know about." 

"I'm really good at keeping secrets," Felicity assured her. 

"Yeah, Felicity works with the Arrow," I said. 

"Sweet!" Cisco said. 

"And you, apparently, are not," Felicity said to me. 

"Now it's all making sense," Cisco enthused. "You know who the Arrow is. Wait." Cisco turned to me. "Do you know who the Arrow is?"

"Uhhh...." I said. Because I'm intelligent. I shook my head, even though I knew that he knew that I was lying. 

"Let's just say that my team has a similar setup, but with more pointy objects," Felicity explained. 

"Welcome, Ms. Smoak," Dr. Wells said, rolling in. 

"Dr. Wells?" Felicity asked. " _The_ Dr. Wells?"

"Please, call me Harrison, Felicity," he said. 

"You know who I am?" Felicity asked. 

"Ranked second in the National Informative Technology Competition at age 19, graduated M.I.T. with a Masters Degree in Cyber Security and Computer Sciences," Wells said. "I know who you are. I keep an eye out for promising talent in scientific fields. It's what brought me Cisco, Caitlin, and I foresaw great things from you." 

"Speaking of great things," I interrupted, "wanna see something cool?"

//

After showing Felicity how fast I could run and tried to show her how fast I could run backward, I was put on bed rest for a few hours by Caitlin so I could heal. I may or may not have fallen off of the treadmill. 

"You didn't tell me Cisco was your boyfriend," Felicity said. She and Caitlin were sitting on one side of the bed, Cisco on the other, holding my hand. 

"Well, I mean," I said, "I asked if you wanted to meet my boyfriend then brought you to S.T.A.R. Labs, so I don't know what you were expecting." 

"I mean, fair enough," she laughed. "How'd it happen? Who asked who out? I want the deets!"

"Yeah, I haven't even gotten deets," Caitlin said. 

"I mean, to be fair, we just told you," Cisco said. Caitlin rolled her eyes. "There's not all that much to tell, I guess. We admitted our feelings and kissed. That was a month ago." 

"You two make an adorable couple," Felicity said. 

"Yeah, we do, don't we?" I asked, looking over at Cisco. We shared a smile, his thumb stroking across my knuckles. 

"We do." 

//

A few hours later found me out with Felicity, Iris, and Eddie doing trivia at Jitters. We had been doing well the entire night until Eddie got an alert that Snart was spotted. It was the perfect opportunity to catch him, but what would I tell Iris? 

"I'll cover for you," Felicity told me as I headed to the door. 

"What are you gonna tell her?" I asked. 

"I usually tell people Oliver's at a club with a girl or nursing a hangover," she said. 

"None of which will work for me," I said. 

"Bad stomach ache-Really bad diarrhea." 

"Yeah, I'm not comfortable with that excuse." 

"Just go!" 

So I went. 

I got to the theater where Snart was just in time to block Joe from getting blasted with--an ice gun? Before I knew what was happening, I was flying backward, a terrible pain in my abdomen. 

"You okay?" Joe asked. 

"It burns!" I shouted. 

Despite the pain, I rushed to get everyone out. And almost succeeded. There was one person left. Snart aimed and fired. I ran, I ran as fast as I could, but it wasn't fast enough. The man fell to the ground. Frozen. Dead. 

//

"It's still numb," I told Caitlin back at S.T.A.R. Labs. 

"It's presenting itself like third-degree frostbite," Caitlin explained. 

"I thought he had hyper healing," Felicity said. 

"It's been slowed," Caitlin said. "If your cells weren't regenerating at the rate they are, your blood vessels would have frozen solid and the nerve damage would've been permanent. You're lucky to be alive." 

"Snart wasn't another metahuman," I said, standing up. "He has some kind of gun. It froze things. Slowed me down. Enough that I wasn't in time to save someone."

"According to his record," Felicity said, "Snart didn't even bother to finish high school, so how did he build a handheld high-tech snow machine?"

"S.T.A.R. Labs built the cold gun," Wells answered. 

"Dr. Wells and Caitlin had nothing to do with this," Cisco interjected. "I built the gun."

I looked at him in disbelief, and at Wells and Caitlin. "You did?" I asked softly. "Why?"

"Because," he began to explain. He looked on the verge of tears. "Speed and cold are opposites. Temperature is measured by how quickly the atoms of something are oscillating. The faster they are, the hotter it is, and when things are cold, they're slower on the atomic level. When there's no movement at all it's called--"

"Absolute zero," I finished. 

"Yeah," Cisco said. Finally, a tear slipped down his cheek. "I designed a compact cryo engine to achieve absolute zero." He froze for a moment, a few more tears falling from his eyes. "I built it to stop you." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It felt like my heart was being torn from my chest. Before I even realized I was crying I reached a hand up to wipe the tears away. "I didn't know who you were then, Barry," Cisco whispered. "I mean, what if you had turned out to be some psycho, like Mardon or Nimbus?"

"But I didn't?" I shouted. "Did I?"

"We built the entire structure you're standing in to do good," Caitlin interrupted, "and it blew up. In the wake of that, you can understand why Cisco would want to be prepared for the worst." 

"I can understand that," I said slowly, "but what I can't understand is why you didn't tell me what you did! I mean after all we've been through, I thought you trusted me. I thought you loved me." 

"I do, Barry!" Cisco said, stepping closer to me. 

"I mean, if you had just told me, I could've been prepared! But instead, someone died tonight."

"And I have to live with that." 

"No Cisco. We all do." And with that, my face wet with tears and my stomach in knots--my heart broken--I left.  

 


End file.
